My Childhood Home Is Being Demolished

The other week I received a notification that my brother had posted a link on my Facebook wall. I assumed it was going to be an inappropriate meme or Spongebob clip because that’s 98 percent of what we discuss. We’re obviously sophisticated siblings. I clicked on the notification and instead of the usual cheesy Buzzfeed…

Chapter One: Guilt

I’m feeling conflicted. A few days ago I began writing the first chapter of a book. Something that I’ve dreamed of doing since I was a child. I should be ecstatic that I finally kicked my insecurities in the cunt, right? Well, I feel guilty. Today is the two-year anniversary of my mother’s death. She passed away at…

D’oh! It’s Throwback Thursday.

Unless you’ve been living under the world’s smallest boulder you may be aware that for the last week FXX has been playing all 552 Simpson’s episodes. When I’m not at work or out saving the galaxy with Star-Lord, my ass has been firmly planted on my couch much like Homer J. Simpson. Being a sloth…

Hometown Amends… My 10 Year Reunion.

A few months ago I came across something intimidating on Facebook. Scrolling through my newsfeed I saw that a few of my friends “liked” my high school class 10-year reunion page. My stages of thought went a little something like this… DENIAL: “What?! I am NOT that old. I am NOT!!! I am a beautiful,…

#TBT with things my brother looks like

This strapping young lad pictured below is about to turn 25 in one week. TWENTY-FUCKING-FIVE!!! I still remember when my baby brother played with beanie babies, peed the bed, and broke his glasses constantly. In honor of #TBT I present to you things my brother looks like… Harry Potter. Lloyd Christmas Moe Toad (from Mario)…

Plundering Throwback Thursday With Feels

I’ve been looking for this particular photo for years. I remember the time my mother made my brother and I handmade Halloween costumes. She was more excited than Amanda Bynes at a wig factory. We put on our outfits, posed for a photo, then ran around acting like Peter Pan and Captain Hook. I swung…