Period Panties: A Modern Day Love Story

The other day I got what my grandmother calls “my monthly.” My period came unexpected as always. Sometimes every four weeks; sometimes eight. My period is a scarlet witch who flies into town any damn time she pleases. I don’t always mind since she’s ultimately there to reassure me no embryos have begun squatting in…

Whore Next Door: Part Two

There has been a new development in my Whore Next Door story. Previously I told the tale of my neighbor having loud sex every Saturday and Sunday with her new boyfriend, which happened to intertwine with MY sexy time. Well, the sounds have continued and I’ve learned to live with it for the most part.…

Turn Noun For WHAT?! Bacon Edition.

I’ve been asked by fellow blogger Jessie Reyna  if I’d like to participate in her writing experiment called Turn Noun For WHAT?! You can read more about her writing experiment here. She had a group of bloggers each choose three nouns and then selected one using a random number generator. Whichever noun was the “chosen…

My Childhood Home Is Being Demolished

The other week I received a notification that my brother had posted a link on my Facebook wall. I assumed it was going to be an inappropriate meme or Spongebob clip because that’s 98 percent of what we discuss. We’re obviously sophisticated siblings. I clicked on the notification and instead of the usual cheesy Buzzfeed…

29 is a Mind Fuck

This week I turned 29. Twenty fucking nine! I had a weekend full of eating junk and drinking booze with my friends and family to celebrate. We ate fancy cheese and played drinking games to Big Hero 6. Board games commenced and the winner won a trophy made of cheese, built by yours truly. My 29th year…